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Starvation
Levels of the Infinite |
Synopsis | Contents | MS. Info | Excerpt
Writing InventoryThe story, "Starvation Levels of the Infinite," and all writing on this page copyright 2008 by Michael D. Smith
Astronaut Billy McFarland dies, marooned with Administrator Ming on a Jovian moonlet. But when the story’s next section reintroduces him as an auto mechanic waylaid by the seductive Sheila, it becomes evident that powerful moods are thrusting Billy and his girlfriend into new incarnations and higher levels of awareness. Lost and bickering in their next life in a surreal ghost town, he and Sheila are about to end their relationship when a derelict introduces them to Sorcerer Al’s transcendent music. Billy then evolves into a deacon in the Carnationist Church, where he and his best friend Sheila investigate a murder on church property.
It becomes apparent that beings with Civil Service-type designations of Astronaut, Administrator, Scientist, Witch or Sorcerer are mitigating the effects of a coming apocalypse by manipulating Billy and Sheila. In the last section, though only mentioned in passing, Billy is seen a key player in an unfolding Final War, and Witch Paula understands that he’ll soon need to be fed more than “starvation levels” of awareness and energy.
1. Jupiter
2. A Course in Ancient Beetles
3. The Business Partners
4. The First Evening of Delusion
5. Before
Written
2008 MS.
37 pages (Times New Roman 12, double-spaced) Words
9,300 Currently input in
Word 2000 Previously published
No parts yet published
1. Jupiter
“It’s certain,” Ming said, checking the instruments they’d hauled into the tiny shelter. “We passed directly through the worst of Jupiter’s radiation belts. No wonder our minds are short-circuiting. We may have only minutes left.”
“God ... how do you know ...?” Billy’s whisper came into Ming’s helmet.
“The rad belts have 400,000 times the lethal dose for a human being, that’s how I know. And you have to admit, our minds are the first things that’re going.”
“I know ... I feel ... weird ...” Billy said.
Ming saw himself reflected in Billy’s mirrored visor. Billy wore the bright red helmet of Astronaut. Ming’s suit was identical to Billy’s except for the blue helmet that marked him as Administrator. He chuckled.
“Huh? What’s so funny?” Billy demanded.
“Damn, this is exactly like listening to the radio! You sound like some sort of disc jockey!”
“Really? Is that so funny?”
“No, what I was actually laughing at was how quickly your training has evaporated under the stress here. You should be telling me about the nature of Jupiter’s radiation belts. I just picked that one figure out of my memory. You knew when we were thrown into the belts what the rad level would be.”
“Yeah ... right. Still, I can’t be expected to be on top of it all the time ...”
Ming smiled. Somehow Billy had tracked a small chunk of rock half a kilometer long tracing an unstable polar orbit--some asteroid fragment captured by’s Jupiter’s immense gravity. They were so close to the planet that they could see the most minute details of its wind-whipped cloud patterns. Jupiter filled the entire sky. Even when Ming shut his eyes the brilliance was overpowering. Everything was blue.
Billy’s helmet swiveled to take in the aluminum tubing and plastic of the tiny tent that was supposed to shield them from the radiation sleet but which was doing little good, Ming knew. Billy had chosen the rock for a landing--or more accurately, to tether the ship to, as they could probably leap right off this moonlet into the void with little difficulty--both to rest the overheated engines and possibly secure more of the ore the Synthesizer ran on. “We could take off any time,” Billy said. “Wanna give it a try?”
“Sure. Any time. On the other hand, we could just sit in the tent for a while.”
“What do you mean ... for a while?”
“I mean ... why not just wait here to die?”
“Huh ... I’m not so sure but that I wouldn’t like to try to make a run for it.”
“We can if you want. But we both know we won’t get far. Too much radiation, Billy--we both know it.”
“Well … sure … I know ...”
“We could sort of think of this rock as our home. Our special place ... this is a magnificent place to die, really.”
“I know ... I was actually thinking the same thing, I guess. You know, Ming, I wouldn’t normally say this to an administrator--”
“Forget it. I’m not really an administrator. Not really.”
“I ... I know what you mean. I’m not really an astronaut, either, I guess. I mean, I’ve been doing it for years now, but ... you know?”
“I know ...”
“Damn, I can really talk to you, man! You listen. That’s amazing!”
“Yeah ... so what were you about to say?”
“Well ... I mean, I hardly know you, man--and I want to apologize ... I mean--when they first assigned you to my ship, I thought, this guy’s gonna be the death of me. I mean, I felt from the beginning we wouldn’t get along--”
“And we didn’t--not at first--it took us weeks to get used to each other.”
“That’s right,” Billy said. “Well, I can hardly imagine how it happened, but ... I suppose I’ve always known we’d end up … dying, together, here. Or I guess living here. We’re alive. That’s all that matters.”
“I know. I feel the same way. This experience--this entire experience--to be so cut off--from everything—”
“--Even though we know we could blast off at any time—”
“Right! But instead--deep down inside--we both realize we want to just sit here and take everything in …”
Billy leaned back and turned his helmet to Jupiter. “Yeah! We take it in!”
“And--and this becomes--the high point--the peak of our lives!” Ming cried, so overcome that he patted Billy’s oxygen pack.
“I knew you were going to say that! But it’s true! This is the sum of everything we’ve ever lived for! This vista! This realization! The very thoughts we’re thinking are dangerous--but we’ve been brought here to think them!”
“We’re fundamentally changed, Billy! Consider that!”
“God, yes! The end of everything! It’s an honor to share this with you, Ming!”
“Billy--you will always be my closest and deepest friend … forever ...”
“I know ... I know ...” Billy choked. “The same goes for me ... I can’t believe it ... God, Ming, we’re going telepathic ... it’s amazing ... I see so much in you ...”
“I know ... I see it in you too ...”
Billy slumped on his back. Ming could easily read the disrupted patterns of Billy’s brain. He threw his head back and took in the full blaze of Jupiter’s streaming clouds. He felt his own mental patterns recklessly slashing apart. His own structures shutting down. He shared it all with Billy.
Billy was moaning and rocking so violently that Ming, fearing his friend might inadvertently reach escape velocity, put a fat silver glove out and steadied the disintegrating astronaut. “Ming--” Billy gasped. “You’re right. This changes us—fundamentally--” He coughed, then stopped moving.
“And you’ll be changed fundamentally when you awake as well,” Ming said, settling back in the tent, heart surging with excitement and love for his own life, his magnificent supporting role for the universe.
“And now … prepare to go under yourself … Mr. Ming …” he gasped. “To enter the tunnel … on faith alone ...”
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09/08/08